At last - Dan Christie's offensive post
Who Let The Doggerel Out?
The word “manifesto’ is usually preceded by ‘Communist’ –as in The Communist Manifesto, the 1848 blueprint laid out by Karl Marx and Freidrich Engels that dealt with class struggle and the evils of capitalism. Which is not to say only godless commies set out manifestos either. It’s a pretty safe bet that if those protesting the upcoming G8 and G20 conferences in Toronto have a manifesto then so to do the leaders of the G8 and G20.
Both groups have manifestos, it’s just that the wording is slightly different.
Last week Port Hope resident William Spotton, 42, announced his candidacy for mayor –his second attempt at Starting At The Top. His first try in 2003, against Rick Austin, came within 200 votes of success.
Mr. Spotton has a Manifesto 2010 for Port Hope which he says is “about how we can do politics” –the precise meaning of which, I’m afraid to say, totally escapes me. But then, Mr. Spotton is a poet –a poet with an extensive body of work laid bare for all to see at his Baharnai Hayyim (don’t ask…) blogspot website.
Whether or not Mr. Spotton’s poetry was as difficult to write as it is to read is entirely subjective. Personally I prefer the straightforward rhyme and rythym of Robert Service as opposed to the ethereal heartbreak of “The wallet left on a new kitchen counter/Graced by gentle blond highlights” favoured by Mr. Spotton.
Yep, give me The Cremation of Sam McGee any day.
Mr. Spotton’s resume is, shall we say, a tad light. His LinkedIn profile says he’s currently an Assistant at the office of Liberal MPP Joe Dickson in Ajax. At the same time his Blogger profile lists his Occupation as ‘Trying’. ‘Trying’ what? To write poetry? To be Mayor of Port Hope? To find Wendy and the rest of the Lost Boys?
Not only does Mr. Spotton not seem to have what might be called a real job, something that naturally leads voters to think maybe the real reason he wants to be mayor is because it’s a steady paycheck, but he hasn’t served on any Committees of Council either. And, while I stand to be corrected, of the many Port Hope council meetings I’ve suffered through, I can’t recall ever seeing Mr. Spotton share my misery. If you want to be mayor, shouldn’t you start by going to the occasional meeting? Maybe even ask a few questions of the people purporting to serve the Town and its citizens?
Don’t get me wrong; I wish Mr. Spotton well in his journey. I admire anyone brave enough to throw their hat in the ring. I salute anyone who thinks they can unseat the Old Girls Club that runs Port Hope –some of whom were actually elected. But the gentle breezes of poetry are no match for the wicked blasts of hot air that practically peel the paint off the walls every Tuesday night down at Port Hope Town Hall. No match at all.
As for that Manifest 2010, Mr. Spotton, you’d do well to come up with something a little less autocratic-sounding. Get the mandate first –then impose the manifesto.
Just like the autocrats you’re –ahem- “trying” to de-throne.
Note:
For those who are wondering what is going on it is speculated that the column Dan Christie writes for one of the local papers was spiked for being locally offensive and not up to the usual standards of this paper - a SunMedia publication. Hey anybody that publishes Sue Ann Levy can't be all that bad, can it?
Anyway the BurdReport has obtained a copy of the column and it sits above these comments. Mr Christie has given permission, by proxy, to publish:
"How odd. I happened to run into Dan Christie last night. He was holding court at Zest. His spiked column was being passed around the outside patio. I asked if it would be alright if it got posted on The Burd Report. He finished urinating in the corner (well, I think he was urinating anyway...)zipped up his fly, and punched me in the nose. One of his entourage, an elf, said that was his way of saying 'yes'. So I sent the parchment copy of the column (by way of wheelchair courier) to Ben with permission to post it on this site.
Gotta run. My nose is still bleeding...."
The word “manifesto’ is usually preceded by ‘Communist’ –as in The Communist Manifesto, the 1848 blueprint laid out by Karl Marx and Freidrich Engels that dealt with class struggle and the evils of capitalism. Which is not to say only godless commies set out manifestos either. It’s a pretty safe bet that if those protesting the upcoming G8 and G20 conferences in Toronto have a manifesto then so to do the leaders of the G8 and G20.
Both groups have manifestos, it’s just that the wording is slightly different.
Last week Port Hope resident William Spotton, 42, announced his candidacy for mayor –his second attempt at Starting At The Top. His first try in 2003, against Rick Austin, came within 200 votes of success.
Mr. Spotton has a Manifesto 2010 for Port Hope which he says is “about how we can do politics” –the precise meaning of which, I’m afraid to say, totally escapes me. But then, Mr. Spotton is a poet –a poet with an extensive body of work laid bare for all to see at his Baharnai Hayyim (don’t ask…) blogspot website.
Whether or not Mr. Spotton’s poetry was as difficult to write as it is to read is entirely subjective. Personally I prefer the straightforward rhyme and rythym of Robert Service as opposed to the ethereal heartbreak of “The wallet left on a new kitchen counter/Graced by gentle blond highlights” favoured by Mr. Spotton.
Yep, give me The Cremation of Sam McGee any day.
Mr. Spotton’s resume is, shall we say, a tad light. His LinkedIn profile says he’s currently an Assistant at the office of Liberal MPP Joe Dickson in Ajax. At the same time his Blogger profile lists his Occupation as ‘Trying’. ‘Trying’ what? To write poetry? To be Mayor of Port Hope? To find Wendy and the rest of the Lost Boys?
Not only does Mr. Spotton not seem to have what might be called a real job, something that naturally leads voters to think maybe the real reason he wants to be mayor is because it’s a steady paycheck, but he hasn’t served on any Committees of Council either. And, while I stand to be corrected, of the many Port Hope council meetings I’ve suffered through, I can’t recall ever seeing Mr. Spotton share my misery. If you want to be mayor, shouldn’t you start by going to the occasional meeting? Maybe even ask a few questions of the people purporting to serve the Town and its citizens?
Don’t get me wrong; I wish Mr. Spotton well in his journey. I admire anyone brave enough to throw their hat in the ring. I salute anyone who thinks they can unseat the Old Girls Club that runs Port Hope –some of whom were actually elected. But the gentle breezes of poetry are no match for the wicked blasts of hot air that practically peel the paint off the walls every Tuesday night down at Port Hope Town Hall. No match at all.
As for that Manifest 2010, Mr. Spotton, you’d do well to come up with something a little less autocratic-sounding. Get the mandate first –then impose the manifesto.
Just like the autocrats you’re –ahem- “trying” to de-throne.
Note:
For those who are wondering what is going on it is speculated that the column Dan Christie writes for one of the local papers was spiked for being locally offensive and not up to the usual standards of this paper - a SunMedia publication. Hey anybody that publishes Sue Ann Levy can't be all that bad, can it?
Anyway the BurdReport has obtained a copy of the column and it sits above these comments. Mr Christie has given permission, by proxy, to publish:
"How odd. I happened to run into Dan Christie last night. He was holding court at Zest. His spiked column was being passed around the outside patio. I asked if it would be alright if it got posted on The Burd Report. He finished urinating in the corner (well, I think he was urinating anyway...)zipped up his fly, and punched me in the nose. One of his entourage, an elf, said that was his way of saying 'yes'. So I sent the parchment copy of the column (by way of wheelchair courier) to Ben with permission to post it on this site.
Gotta run. My nose is still bleeding...."
17 comments:
It seems, though I don't know for sure, that former NorthumberlandToday columnist Dan Christie was struck by lightning at Walton and Ontario Streets this afternoon while trying to sell chipmunk pelts to tourists from Toronto. The details are sketchy but as a result he now apparently speaks with thick Austrailian accent, Cobbah.
As I say, the details at this point are sketchy....
Oi!
The local media have been staying away from controversy for some time. Even Barry King was given the boot because they though this political cartoons were too incisive, which is why I stopped buying the local MSM.
In this case I assume that Dan Christie's facts were correct, even if his style is offensive. I would have thought most voters would be interested in these views, and would wait eagerly to see the candidate refute them. If the local media will not report fair comments about political aspirants it seems that the Burd Report will have to do it, and I will continue to tell my friends to read the Burd Report if they want to know what is going on.
The local media have been staying away from controversy for some time.
Interestingly, Northumberland News, promotes guest columns consisting of 350 words. Today's guest column consists of 695 words.
I should add that the bloated column contains two offensive words: "hell" and "damned fool", however, this is balanced with a heavy dose of bland gland debris.
Whatever else Cobourg needs, it is not writers writing about their experiences that have no bearing on the community. It is a similar situation to Grahame Woods regaling us about his car ownershit days when he drove his ego back and forth in a community NOT Cobourg.
The local MSN has shallow roots in Cobourg and their head honchoes in the larger network of newspapers, regard local community newspapers as outposts for their central mediocrity; as enforced by colourless editors.
Northumberland News published a letter today about the Hells Angels.
I sent a letter in response. It was rejected because Jeanne Beneteau regarded it as "too strongly worded with personal opinion (ie disgusting, racist)."
Below is the letter that is too strong to print.
Congratulations to Don Cholmondeley and his tender concern for the dignity, integrity and good name of the Hell's Angels, a disgusting, racist, misogynist organization consisting largely of members bearing criminal convictions in far larger proportion than other organizations, eg. Rotary Club, Lion's Club, etc.
Insofar as whether the Hell's Angels are involved in tobacco smuggling from Alderville or not, I await with baited breath for the official denial from a spokesjerk wearing the full colour RAGS of that motorcycle GANG bearing a logo totally reflective of its collective intelligence = a skull empty of brains.
I guess there must be a spillover effect from the anti-bullying campaign. Even these bikers have tender feelings that should be considered. Poor babies!
Below is how the local MSM would prefer it:
"Congratulations to Don Cholmondeley and his tender concern for the dignity, integrity and good name of the Hell’s Angels. Insofar as whether they are involved in tobacco smuggling from Alderville or not, I await for the official denial from the motorcycle club."
No wonder the local MSM is boring, bland, colourless, and slowly losing readership. The local editors get their strings pulled by the head offices outside the local community; minimize controversy.
Mr. Spotton's poetry is quite a read. Gives us a pretty good look at who the guy is.
Doesn't even know the correct names of streets in the town in which he hopes to Start At The Top.
William Spotton does not write poetry. The same could be said for a large part of the output of member of the Cobourg Poetry Workshop.
William Spotton will be reading his doggeral July 15 at Meet @ 66 King Street West. The event is hosted by the Cobourg Poetry Workshop.
Anyone showing up with a placard reading, DOWN WITH DOGGEREL, will get a free Poetic Licence issued by the Creative Intelligence Agency of the Peoples Republic of Poetry.
william is he for real ?
Never seen or heard of him before !
Lots of candidates in Port Hope are 'for real'. The problem seems (to me anyway) to stem from their connection with reality. No one seems to want to ask what a given candidate's qualifications for the job are.
And by no means is it stricly a Port Hope problem. It's everywhere. All you need in Port Hope is a $100 deposit for a run at council, $200 for mayor -refundable with a certain percentage of the vote. Don't get me wrong; running for office should not exclude potentially good people who don't happen to have the hundred bucks, not by a long shot. But as things stand that's just about the only so-called 'qualification' anybody needs.
Or for that matter -has.
hey Merk ! Deb O can 'splain it to ya. We held that tater over the fire a while back. btw, I'm snortin' the same smoke as you on this.
Dan's post was Spott-on!
William Spotton needs to get his collectivist terminology straight. “Manifesto 2010”, that’s so last century. The phrase he should be using is “Vision 2010".
I personally think it's great that William is running for mayor of the habour of optimism and I wish him the best of luck.
Spotten what a goof but he may read the town out of hock ? I would like to here is plan but not sueing his ex-wife for support .
"I would like to here is plan but not sueing his ex-wife"
The above masterpiece of coherence has been brought to you by Ontario's educational standards.
I came across these comments while looking up some election articles. At first I thought I should ignore them, take the high road, that type of thing. Then I realized hell too late for the high road, I am involved in electoral politics. So ....
For the record, Dan and I have met several times some years ago, in similar circumstances as noted above (different watering holes) except I can happily report, and you’ll be relieved to know, he definitely had his zipper up. Whatever the merits of my resume (though I am not sure what resume he has, I have never given him one nor who wrote the one he has), it is I who am running for Mayor not my resume.
Qualifications for candidate for Mayor are indeed residency, citizenship, filing fee and some other technical matters. The theory being that the voters get to decide the qualifications for Mayor on election day.
The merits of good and bad poetry have been debated and will continue to be debated for centuries. Just as we will whether to lick the Oreo middle or eat it with the wafers. Or whether we should ban pineapples from being on pizzas . I am for banning pineapple on pizzas. Bad or good, I hope my poetry is at least honest which tells you about the couple of hellish years I have just had.
I am sorry Robert Service was dragged into this. I love the “Cremation of Sam McGee”.
As for the word ’manifesto’, point taken I’ll keep my thesaurus closer next time.
As discomfiting as it is to read about myself in the vein of these comments, it is a good and indeed proper test for me. It makes me ask if I really should be doing this, running for Mayor. My answer is yes. I hope people who care enough to read and to write about their community as on this blog will also care enough to find out all they can about the candidates, maybe even to talk to them directly.
Many thanks and Tally ho! Cheers William Spotton
"Bad or good, I hope my poetry is at least honest"
The issue is not whether Mr Spotton's poetry is good or bad. The issue is whether it is poetry. It is not.
Just because Mr Spotton deposited his membershit fees to the Cobourg Poetry Workshop, and thereby bought a stage pass to spew his doggerel fresh from the kennel, does not make poetry out of tinsel.
I went to his blog to check out his poetry. Alas, he has taken it offline.
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