Ever tried to access customer service departments lately? I have been struggling with Bell Canada and this morning with the Toronto Star.
This morning the TO star was not in its usual place when opening the door at 7am. Nor was it there at 1015 am. So I went online and obtained the phone number for the circulation department. Accessing phone hell the final stop was a notification that informed me that I had been credited with a newspaper to replace the missing one. Not satisfied I tried again attempting to guess which of the options would give me access to a real person. Finally the voice informed me., "Press #3 if you have other questions" I did and was promptly cut off. Trying again, after all I had a seven minute investment in this quest already, I connected with a person called Shonna and she informed me that i would be credited with a paper. I said, "but I want a paper" She said, "You should have called before 10am, we have nobody to deliver after 10am." But I said, "Look just find the guy in Grafton and send him out." She said, "I don't know the delivery person in that area, I have credited your account" So I said, "I really only want a paper." She said, "Sorry sir I can't help you." I said, "Please make a note and tell your supervisor I am not satisfied." She said, "Yes sir, is there anything else I can help you with?" and proceeded to explain that the Starweek will not be delivering any more and proceeded with an upsell. I disconnected.
The Bell Canada saga is much more involved and complicated but it does have its comedic spots. Having decided that I might save money by exchanging my pay-as-you-go phone with a smart phone and a cheap plan, research was made into all the options. Settling on a Palm-Pre the local Bell store was visited. Oh back up, as I went into the local mall the Source was visited and the following question posed, "You folks sell Bell phones what makes you different from the folks next door (the Bell Store)?" "Our service" was the reply, "We cannot cut the plan rates." "See that phone mount on the rack?" I pointed out, "Can you give a deal on that if I buy a plan?" "Sorry sir the boss doesn't allow us to cut prices." So I went next door.
"Can I help you sir?" asked one of the perky young females. "Yes, I would like to buy a Palm Pre with a two plan." She looked at her schedules and said, "It would be cheaper on a three year plan." "I know that but I want a two year plan, for $99.00 (the going rate advertised on the website) with a Combo fab five plan." She then went into the back room obtained the phone and then proceeded into the upsell. "These phones are prone to freezing, do you want the extended warranty for $7.00 a month?" Is the freezing covered by the normal warranty" I asked. "Yes sir but these phones are on a backorder when you try to exchange them." A for effort but still no sale. Havig invested twenty minutes of waiting and buying time she then informed me, after discovering her computer would not take the order, that the phone I wanted on a two plan will now cost me not the advertised price of $99.00 but $150.00. When I asked why does the website say $99.99 another older but officious (read snotty) person then pointed to the fine print on an internal schedule and read the disclaimer. "I then said, "I am not satisfied with that, this whole deal has been very misleading and I'm sorry that I wasted your time and mine." And left much to the amazement of another customer being served not eighteen inches away from me at the counter.
Not wanting to give up with the holy grail of a PalmPre on a two year plan for $99 I decided to go on line and order it. Finding the right page on the website and proceeding to fill out the right pages and assemble what i wanted in the "cart" I was invited to chat inside a popup box with a customer service rep. Doing this I was informed that I could have what i wanted and could I give them a phone number where they could confirm all of this in person. Ten minutes later a man named Amin went through my order and then informed me, after many holds and pauses that the phone would be another $150.00 plus the $99.00 because I wanted a two year plan. He then reduced the price for me to $150.00 all-in and I informed him that that was not good enough and terminated the call.
Aha I thought why don't I just order the bloody thing on line and see if the shopping cart gives me what I wanted. Yep I could get the order, clicked buy, supplied my credit card and two days later the phone turned up.
But it turned out that had ordered the "Uber" Combo not the "Smartphone" combo and needed to change it. Instructed, by email to register the phone and create an account where I could make changes to my plans I attempted to do this. The vagaries of the transaction were such that the registration code was not being accepted by the website and I failed to create an account. Finding a phone number and another maze of "phone hell" a contact person was found. After a while it was determined by the CSR that he couldn't help me and told me to initiate a "Chat" on the internet. "What if I didn't have a computer?" I asked. "Well I can't help you." was the only answer this man could say.
So I guess tomorrow I will be contacting the business office of Bell with two simple requests: can I register my mobile phone and can I switch plans? After all I wouldn't want to waste the nearly two hours of enquiries that I have invested so far, now would I?
If you found this tale tedious, blame me for not writing in a Leacockian way - blame Dave Chomitz for suggesting that I write about it.
PS I guess my episode is not just Canadian or uncommon amongst telecommunication companies read about this British couple's attempt to obtain broadband
here